Friday, October 26, 2012

Ducks?...more like dicks...


Fear is the emotion, which signals danger and helps a person to prepare for and cope with it. Many common fears are that of creatures such as snakes, spiders, or bats. A not so common fear I have come to accept is the fear of none other than the feathery, billed terror of ducks.
            Way back when I was in diapers my parents took me and my sister to an amusement park. It wasn't very amusing to me and my sister because we were both too short for almost every ride. So instead of the rides my father took me and my sister to the petting zoo attraction. I had never been to one of these and so I was curious what would happen in this magically enclosed kingdom of small animals.
            Me being the petting zoo virgin I watched my sister, Julie, frolic with the assortment of small animals. Goats, sheep, and rabbits all came up to her once the teenage hillbilly carny handed her some animal food. My sister was seeming to have the time of her life so I asked my father for some animal food so that I could experience this wonder. Now once I was handed the food I was expecting furry and gentle goats or rabbits to approach me; however, evil was lurking in the shadows.
            While waiting for some gentle animals , I heard the strangest sound coming from the dark. I thought to myself “Quack? What kind of animal makes that sound” and just as I finished that thought about a dozen feathered animals that im sure spawned from Satan, rushed me attacking my denim overalls and Thomas the tank engine shirt. I was pinned on the ground with these winged gremlins nipping all over my body with bills that seemed as sharp as knives. After almost a minute of pain, my father noticed me shrieking in fear and went to grab me.
            Once I was finally out of that hell-hole I told my dad (in toddler talk) all about the horror of these flapping beasts while he tried to console me with some cotton candy and a pretzel. After my sister gracefully got herself out of this “zoo of the Devil” I looked back as we walked away and I swear one of these ducks taunted me with one last “QUACK YOU”.
            

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